his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
