All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize