3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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