Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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