I think my fart just growled at me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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