If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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