I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the day after is always just damage control
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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