standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
