yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My underwear smells like fireworks.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
