its not stalking. its research.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
