I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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