I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
