i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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