Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
