Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
