When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
