i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
