I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
