omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
