I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
