oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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