Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
