we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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