And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
