you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to calm my uterus...
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