I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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