why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
