well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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