So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
