2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
