Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
