Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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