I just threw up on my dentist
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
