didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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