used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.