Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.