you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now