Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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  (513): I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence. http://tfl.nu/wy8q
  Replies (14) Good night (2663) Bad night (870)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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  (214): they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids. http://tfl.nu/ux66
  Replies (18) Good night (1036) Bad night (2627)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women

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  (614): Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once? (410): Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women http://tfl.nu/hhx6
  Replies (11) Good night (3360) Bad night (807)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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  (937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph
  Replies (92) Good night (13650) Bad night (1540)
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  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1240) Bad night (4162)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  she used her one phone call to ask me about my day

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  (712): she used her one phone call to ask me about my day http://tfl.nu/55gn
  Replies (19) Good night (4914) Bad night (1171)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.

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  (202): Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile. http://tfl.nu/r7sn
  Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (3242)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...

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  (204): you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back... http://tfl.nu/izou
  Replies (17) Good night (2309) Bad night (951)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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  (860): ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again http://tfl.nu/2l19
  Replies (5) Good night (2512) Bad night (844)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

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  (325): You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis... http://tfl.nu/1zk4
  Replies (6) Good night (1065) Bad night (924)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"

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  (305): She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered" http://tfl.nu/7vwf
  Replies (3) Good night (1942) Bad night (445)
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  (760): View more from California

  Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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  (760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (470)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...

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  (501): After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well... http://tfl.nu/7bm0
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (805)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour

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  (774): It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour http://tfl.nu/kved
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (303)
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  (714): View more from California

  There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  (714): There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/evby
  Replies (5) Good night (675) Bad night (316)

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