Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing