Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (1144)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.

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  (317): I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands. http://tfl.nu/acvp
  Replies (42) Good night (4381) Bad night (1620)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

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  (863): i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him http://tfl.nu/mt9f
  Replies (24) Good night (1401) Bad night (3225)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....

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  (708): You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark.... http://tfl.nu/9a89
  Replies (5) Good night (5334) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.

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  (847): Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed. http://tfl.nu/o4oh
  Replies (8) Good night (1195) Bad night (2702)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.

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  (815): Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome. http://tfl.nu/075s
  Replies (9) Good night (2737) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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  (870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god. http://tfl.nu/nsks
  Replies (8) Good night (2589) Bad night (1315)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1479) Bad night (668)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.

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  (205): I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work. http://tfl.nu/jnr2
  Replies (8) Good night (1208) Bad night (440)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.

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  (307): MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting. http://tfl.nu/3tf3
  Replies (4) Good night (392) Bad night (1005)
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  (213): View more from California

  His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.

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  (213): His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry. http://tfl.nu/esf2
  Replies (2) Good night (1240) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

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  (608): Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird http://tfl.nu/qw9p
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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  (416): You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard http://tfl.nu/zjmt
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (369)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.

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  (989): In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend. http://tfl.nu/1na1
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (316)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.

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  (732): We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man. http://tfl.nu/m7bs
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (514)

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