She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
