His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
