I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
