hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
