I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
