DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
