Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fuck appropriateness.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
