So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
