He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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