is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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