You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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