a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize