My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize