Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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