So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
