Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
