Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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