never play flip cup with pint glasses
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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