just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
