We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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