Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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