the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
