so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
