bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
