Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
