it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
