around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
