she looked like the before picture.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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