dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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