I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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