i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't think brook has ever known best
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
