"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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