idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
