dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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